I have a feeling this is going to the first in a series of letters that God puts on my heart for my precious young ladies of Girls Bible Study. I wish you all could feel the pressure and urgency I have to capture these words on a page – – how fervent my prayers are that you will read them and they will penetrate your hearts and minds. For years, I have sat in a circle with you ladies and prayed for your future husbands. I have also made a point to pray that you all have the patience and faith to trust Gods timing in this most important area of your life. I have talked about the kind of man that God wants your husband to be. And I suppose in doing so, I have assisted you in developing an imaginary checklist in your mind.

Now there is nothing wrong with this. Most young christian women have had a checklist they use to evaluate potential suitors. It is an important part of developing a set of standards to evaluate who may be worthy to walk with FOREVER. However, please hear me when I say this: DON’T TAKE THEIR WORD FOR IT.

Resist the urge to ask that young man if he believes in God or Jesus or if he is religious or saved or what he believes in church. There are a lot of ways you can ask that burning question on your Godly heart but there are no words that really answer it. Frankly, if you feel the need to ask it – – there is a good chance that you are more interested in completing a checklist than you are in making sure you are drawn to a true man of God.

When a man loves The Lord, it is pretty obvious. You need only step back and observe the beauty of his life. You will see him worship The Lord publicly. You will find him surrounded by Godly friends and usually a Godly family as well. You will see him work hard as if he is working for The Lord and not for man. Even if he is a quiet man, He will talk about his relationship with God. He will tell you about the night he was saved or the miracle that happened to him at church camp. He will serve his God, his church, his family, his friends with the love of Jesus.

He will honor you with his honesty, his character, his respectful communication, his time, his service. . . . his life. But you will only be a part of his service. That spirit of service will be WHO HE IS – – – not just who he is when he is with you. And just a couple more things:

You won’t be the only one interested in the spiritual element of your relationship. That’s right. . . a christian man has been praying for a christian woman that He can lovingly lead and sacrifice for. He’s just as interested in your character, relationships, worship, and service. So all of your actions and your relationships are either confirming or concerning to that great christian guy who may have his eye on you.

It can be exciting to “date” a new believer and guide them along in the breezy days of courtship. But if you find yourself tossing and turning in the winds of marriage, you will feel lost and alone if you are the most spiritually mature christian in your marriage. So resist that urge to help develop a suitor into the christian guy of your dreams. God does not need you to find a Do-It-Yourself project in a man. He will deliver a fully developed, Godly, loving, leading, dream of man right to you – – if you will trust Him to do so.

I speak the truth my sweet younger sisters in Christ. And I have used a checklist that failed me greatly. . . so let my bruises and scars keep you from failing. Let the fruits of his life – – speak of the matters of his heart. And just keep walking with God until HE shows you who HE wants you to walk with. . . .

I write this to you with more love and hope than you can imagine –

CarrieOkie 🙂