This past Sunday was the first time I have cried truly happy tears in a very long time. The first day that felt mostly good all the way through. The first time my tears were filled with praise in well since before the great sadness came. But those tears, as they rolled down my cheeks – I knew where they were going. Where they are headed. I can’t wait to see what He’s saving them for. . . What he’ll make with them. How’s it’s all gonna come together. I have a feeling. Just a hunch.. . that my tears for Ellis Grace are pink and sparkly. . . That my happy tears look like sun and sparkling sand. . . That my Jackson tears are as blue as his gorgeous eyes. . . That tears I have cried over my beloved husband are the color of love itself. . . Blood red. I have a feeling will see where they were collected. I have a feeling I will see what God’s thoughts were on each one in his lovingly recorded book. And I have a feeling that he will make something extraordinary with them. Something that says we are his favorite. Something that we could look that for all of eternity and feel nothing but love and peace. Yes, I have a feeling. A dream in my heart that started this time last year as I first began to ponder this coming miracle.
The Flow to Heaven, May 19, 2016
At times, crying seems senseless. Other times healing. Often it’s embarrassing and not something I wish to do in public. For the first time in my life it is a daily occurrence. At some point in the day, for me- in this season- tears will come. Sometimes it is a wave of sobbing that takes over my whole body and many days it’s softer and lighter. . . A little tear that gets away from me and trickles down my otherwise peaceful face. It would be my preference not to cry everyday. I am a historically joyful person. I have been known to call tears a waste of make up😩💄 I have a friend who told me my tears were love letters to my daughter and another who brought me real cloth hankies for “precious” tears.
There are certain things that we moms have to save and collect from our children because they are precious. And this is what God does with our tears. Each one is precious to Him and because of that we never cry in vain. We never cry alone. They are never wasted. Or unseen.
We don’t have to wait to see Revelations revealed to have our tears wiped away. From our first skinned knee- – to the boy that broke our heart – – to the deepest waters of sorrow and crushing waves of grief . . . God has to be wiping each one and lovingly carrying them to a place of His keeping. You have gotten over some of your tears but God has not. He records them in a book. Not because He needs help remembering like we do – – but because He holds each one as precious, cherished, and remembered . . .
Our tears do not flow to a Kleenex, hankie, or our pillow. They flow to heaven in one of the greatest continuous miracles I can imagine. I believe my Ellis tears are pink in that bottle and sparkly and beautiful. They may even look like roses among pearls. . . But I know this. They are counted. They are loved. They are cherished. Because they are an expressed part of my heart and I am of all those things to my Father.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT)