We have discovered in this family that grief amplifies our emotions, problems, and frustrations. I might be frustrated that I can’t get this bottle open. Understandable. But when I throw it across the room , that was anger amplified by grief. Harder to understand.
My husband lectures our boys when they disobey . Encouraging- more parents should take hold of teachable moments. But when his disgust that his daughter died Amps it up with a harsh tone or a hateful stare. Well, that’s discouraging for everybody.
So we have an anger situation in our house. Of course I don’t really want you to know this. I’d prefer my home be peaceful every moment– a refuge of harmony and unity. But it’s not. It’s much rougher than that sometimes.
A lot of people say that anger is just part of it. It’s one of those known phases that we will drift in and out of. But it’s not that simple for me. It makes us feel bad. It makes us unkind. And it makes us feel justified in a way that we should not.
The emotion itself is not the problem. It’s part of our flesh experience as humans. It’s where it leads that is a problem.
I’ve been struggling between accepting the presence of anger in my household and really not liking it at all. So I asked God to show me- – to settle the matter for me. I’ve had so many thoughts related to Jesus Christ’s expression of anger. In Matthew 21 we see Jesus flipping over tables and making a whip driving money changers out of the temple. Pretty much throwing a righteous fit! And forever justifying righteous anger. As Jesus does, so may we. That’s what we presume. Of course I cannot. Not in this situation.
God told me, “you can’t be righteously angry about a plan that is all together righteous. Ellis Grace’s entire life was Holy ordained. Especially her death. I do not give you permission to angrily rebel against My righteous plan.”
“That’s it? ” I thought. “That’s all you have to say?” He had more to say to me about this.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 New International Version (NIV)
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:20 (NIV)
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Colossians 3:8 (NIV)
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath. Psalm 37:8-9 (NIV)
Aaaahhh. . . I see that we’ll have some anger but we shouldn’t wear it always, letting it have its way with us.
So we put up a punching bag this weekend. We are going to ask God to use it to help us rid ourselves of anger. We can’t keep anger from showing up. But we don’t have to roll out the welcome mat and let it grow roots of bitterness in our family.
So when the enemy invites us to hold on to a hindrance, we are going to let him have it. We’re gonna move with God and let him move that anger into its proper place. We’re gonna battle wisely and properly and not against eachother. We’re gonna look at that EVERLAST label and remember His everlasting love for us.
We’re gonna do this Gods way. And beat the opposition to a pulp. Because Jesus is the head of this house. He is the one who rules these hearts. And by His power, we will be victorious. So Anger- I’m calling you out – – COME ON -BRING IT but know that you’re going down quickly and you’ll be escorted to our garage where we will show you that IT IS FINISHED. Jesus style. Holliday style. Same thing.