Before my daughter moved to Heaven, I did not have much need for this word.  I did not consider it frequently. I did not pray for it daily. I did not need to deeply understand it. It wasn’t a practical, applicable thing in my life. 

It is now however the most important thing in my life. It is by far the most important lesson He has given me. My deep need for continual reconciliation.  Real trouble, real sin, and real pain all start with just slightly shifting into disagreement with God.  Entertaining the enemy’s whispers that we know better. . . Should have different. . . Have been wronged in some way by a God who is always right. How did sin come into this world? Basically by disagreeing with what God said about that tree . . . By thinking we should know as much or more than God. . . And just taking one step from Him in disagreement.

If you find yourself unreconciled with God, please know that I know your pain and frustration. And so does God. He understands your humanness that makes it hard to trust Him. But He also made you for hard and holy things. And He wants you to trust Him and agree with Him so that you guys can continue to settle other matters, learn other lessons, and grow strong roots together.  When I wrote the following I was closer than I knew to being reconciled back to God.  . . Thank You Jesus for that. 

The Quest for Reconciliation : May 5, 2017

What does it mean that I need to be reconciled with God? I praise Him. I profess my faith and trust in Him. I have given public testimony of His goodness from a cold, black pit of grief and shock. And I know He’s a good, good Father who loves me. . . So what’s with this reconciliation need I pray for? 

It is simply this. God and I need to agree on His plan for my life. God does not mean for me to make the best of a bad plan. Or to say , well, this was terrible but now I see enough blessings to concede that God is still good even though He let something bad happen to me.  

Romans 8:28 is not cited by me in an effort to say that “sometimes God makes a hot mess of things but at least He always cleans it up nicely. ” 

Reconciliation will come when I can wholeheartedly

Say that . . . Things are just as they should be. . . There is no tragedy. . . When I see it enough Gods way to agree with Him on this matter. 

It doesn’t mean I won’t be sad or broken or miss her or ever wish it was different. . . It only means that my heart will be enough like Gods that I agree wholeheartedly with Him.  

I realize this seems impossible. . . But then again, 

we ARE talking about GOD. 

With God ALL things are possible. 

Matthew 19:26

If you search for Me wholeheartedly, you WILL find Me. Jeremiah 29:13 

#EG41 #useEllis2tellus