The Legacy of Love and Respect


This past weekend we were delighted to have my cousin “Rhett Butler” and his gorgeous little girls stay with us for the weekend. During the morning discussion, Rhett mentioned that his beloved wife has a tendency to become lost while navigating unfamiliar terrain. Mr. Rhett Butler is a wonderful protector and provider. He has made it his policy to only buy vehicles with navigation systems in hopes of preventing confusion and distress for his wife.

During the course of the discussion, one of his daughters asked a sassy, little question.
“Why can’t guys just stop and ask for directions? Why won’t they ever just stop and ask for directions? ” she wondered. Her dad replied,”we don’t stop and ask for directions because we get where we’re going eventually.”

I had to insert myself in this conversation. I told this sweet little woman-in-training that men do not ask for directions because God has designed them to be warriors on a battlefield. Those who are successful in a battle maintain their single focus on what lies ahead. If they were to stop and ask for directions, they would be vulnerable to injury or death. Instinctively, men know this and they strongly resist any temptation to stop moving. God has made them leaders who are able to find their own way. We women on the other hand would not survive the grueling challenges of the warrior’s journey. We would stop to admire the flowers or ask for directions. In our distraction, we would surely die. Taking pause to “ask for directions” would prevent us from making it to our destination.

My cousin Rhett replied, “Good answer, Carrie-Okie.” He and my husband walked a little taller after listening to that description of the most valiant parts of their souls as men. But I wasn’t quite so satisfied with myself. A twinge of guilt weighed heavily on my heart. You see – – a couple of months ago, I would have answered that question very differently. . .

It would have been so witty and entertaining. . . something about men being too stupid to ask for directions or maybe how they need women to do that for them. . . my “funny” and flip answer would have highlighted either the male gender’s helplessness or their stupidity. Boy am I glad she didn’t ask the question before God showed me the real answer.

I will leave a legacy for the younger women in my life to carry. Every time they ask me a question or watch me deal with the challenges of marriage – – they transform me into their Titus 2 tutor. I can choose to lead them into Gods light and truth. Or I can leave them in the darkness of the world and their own inexperience. God has blessed me with Titus 2 tutors that speak love and light and truth into my spirit.

A few months ago my Auntie D published a blog post that she called “Buyer’s Remorse.” In it she shared a recent purchase: a sassy kitchen decoration that seemed uniquely crafted for her adorable, perfectly appointed farm house kitchen. The rooster decoration touted the lines, “He Rules the Roost. . . . . But I Rule the Rooster.” She snatched it up immediately but confessed that she could never bring herself to display it in her kitchen.

When I read that blog post, I must admit that I thought “that’s not that bad – -it’s just a cute little saying.” But this Titus 2 tutor had just given me a class on home decor and marriage enrichment. A decoration that brings disrespect to your husband will never be a blessing to your home. It is not cute, attractive, or funny. No joke is meaningless. They all find their way into our hearts.

What if our jokes about the men in our lives and men in general are actually sowing seeds of disrespect that will grow in the hearts of the young and those not yet married? What if we cast men in in a negative light just because we haven’t taken the effort to understand them?

Carrie-Okie likes to get a laugh and give her quick wit a chance to shine. . . but she is praying for the wisdom to never accomplish this at the expense of ANYONE’S spiritual growth. . .

I want to live a legacy of the beauty of Gods truth . . . especially in relation to the young women He has placed in my life for His purpose. . . I honor my own Titus 2 tutors when I become one myself.



One response »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s